Hope Still Flies

...and Taz ornament.

"Winter Song" by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson

(It's December... so winter-time music lyrics are good now.)

I'll go ahead and give warning that most of this post is me worrying, and having to talk out all the stuff in my head. There are some pretty pictures of an adorable baby at the end, though... so feel free to skip to those. :) I'll add some animations in here to break up my writing.

Oh, future. Your impending doom-ness freaks me out sometimes. The farther I get into the chemical engineering classes, the more I hear that to be able to get a job when I graduate, I need to have an internship for at least one summer, which would be this next summer. Okay. That should be doable. Except that I'm being ridiculously picky about what/where I'd like to work. Which is not good. I realize it's only 12 weeks this summer. That's doable wherever, but still. I'd like to stay relatively close to Manhattan.

Then there's the whole what I'd like to do. So many chem e's go into the oil refinery field. Which is pretty much the last thing I wanna do. With my other major being in biochem, I think the pharmaceutical industry is where I'd like to be. But then there's my ideal jobs... anything with biomedical engineering, or brewery engineering, or a coffee roasterie. As of right now, I'm looking for pretty much anything for next summer.

Failure is still one of my biggest fears. It happens... I know that. But applying for internships, facing the interviews... scares me. But, to get to where I want to be, I know it needs to be done. I am so ready to be out of school, with a real job, in a house, thinking about starting a family... Gotta be a big kid.

So many babies have been born recently. That never helps the me-wanting-to-have-a-baby thing. But every time I think about that, I just tell myself that I'm only 21, I want to be out of school, have a house and job so I can give the kid a good life. Not saying that the kid wouldn't have a good life if all of those wants weren't there, but that is where I want to be. As much as I'd like to jump to that time now, I know between now and then a lot of great memories will be made. Gotta enjoy this time.

Basically I'm scared of the next couple years. I'm afraid I won't get an internship, or I won't get a job, or I'll just be completely unhappy.

Meh. That's enough of the depressing talk. Just needed to get my thoughts down. Onto the more fun topics.

Finals next week!! I'm ready to get them done so I can have a month "off". (There'll be plenty of working in there.)

One of the many babies born recently was to a coworker of mine. She had a little boy named Calvin, and he's the smallest, sweetest little thing ever. I'm lucky enough that she let me come in and take a few pictures of him...

Isn't he precious?? Lauren and Cole are great parents, too. It'll be fun to watch him grow.

Okay. I'm off to read a book that hasn't been assigned to me for the first time in months. Yay!

LOVE.

"King of Anything" by Sara Bareilles

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving here in the States! I definitely had an eventful week full of lots and lots of driving. 

Wednesday Michael, Sarah and I drove back to Wichita. Thursday, Michael and I had Thanksgiving lunch with his dad, and then had dinner with his mom, brothers and grandparents. All of it was mighty tasty, and it's always good seeing everyone! I had to split pretty quick though to drive back up here because I had to work bright and early for Black Friday. After that, it was back to Wichita. 

Saturday morning I went to visit a coworker who just had an adorable baby boy. I got to hold him for a few minutes and it was amazing. Babies are awesome. :) Then Saturday afternoon Mike and I drove to Dodge City for a wedding. It was beautiful! Sadly we had to drive right back to Wichita after it was over. 

Then, Sunday, my family celebrated Thanksgiving. Lots of tasty food and good times all around. Garrett and I spent some time outside and I got some pictures of him. He's growing into a handsome, and smart, little man.

We play a card game called Hand and Foot a lot in our family. I tried to get a picture of everybody smiling... my mom and sisters did a great job. Craig acted like Craig, and Michael said he was looking important, which means like a mob boss.

But yeah, my dad even made his amazing salsa for Thanksgiving and I got to bring some home...

...but nowI can't eat now because I picked up the flu that was going around the family. Definitely not a good way to start the last few weeks of school. Getting behind at this point would be pretty horrible, so I'm hoping it's just a 24 hour thing. 

How is everyone else doing? I really didn't mean to fall off of the blogging Earth. It's just been crazy.

-"Machine Gun" by Sara Bareilles

Say what? Alex is blogging?! Oh geez.

It's true. I'm alive and blogging. The past couple weeks have been pretty jam-packed of all sorts of stuff. Mainly school. Lots of school, and all school entails. Studying, test-taking, homework. Classes are going pretty well for the most part. Except the Harry Potter paper I haven't started. My engineering classes are still difficult, but I got an A on my last Transport test. Which means I'm not failing anymore! (I really haven't been failing for awhile. But now I'm really not failing).

Plus, I've been working a lot more since the holidays are coming up. It's a good thing I like my job. Except when people pay with money from their bra. (Loving the strikethroughs today). I'm not loving that I have to work Black Friday, which is usually my Christmas shopping day. That's probably okay since I have no idea what I want to get half of my family members.

This past week has been pretty insane. The last week of classes before Thanksgiving break. Last Sunday, Michael and I saw Sara Bareilles in concert, and she was even more amazing than I thought she'd be. Pictures?? Of course.

She was hilarious. Liberty Hall's pretty small, and so when people would scream random things at her, she'd talk back.Oh, and the title of my post is what she said right before she sang "Fairytale".

Her band, when they were doing a cover of Radiohead's "Nice Dream". Brilliant.

She sang a good mix of stuff off of her recent cd and her last cd. Love Song, King of Anything, Uncharted... This is when she sang "Gravity". Absolutely beautiful. (Notice the blue piano and pirate rubber ducky).

For the last part of her encore, she sang "Many the Miles". For the last part of it she climbed on her piano and sang the crap out of it. It was... guh.

I have about a billion more pictures from that night, but I won't bother you with them.

Mike and I got back late Sunday. Had class Monday and Tuesday, then on Wednesday I went to Wichita and saw Spring Awakening (again) with Debra. It's a new tour round, so it was a completely different cast than I'd seen before. It was definitely my favorite. Love, love, loved it. I would never get tired of seeing that musical.

I woke up bright and early on Thursday to get back in time for class. I started getting a chest cold on Tuesday, and by Thursday it was in full bloom. Still, I trucked on, and Thursday night we saw Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows. *insert squeeing* Midnight release. It was pretty epic. I won't spoil it for any one who hasn't seen it yet... but I had just read the book, and I thought they did a really goo job with it. Definitely my favorite so far. And now I love Emma Watson.

Friday was a long and sleep deprived day... and then Saturday I was supposed to run a 5k with Michael, Sarah, Sarah's boyfriend, and our friend, Andy. Well... My chest cold had completely taken over by Saturday morning, and after a phone call from my dad, I decided to sit it out. Everyone else ran and did an amazing job, and I loved cheering them on.

The rest of yesterday and today, Michael and I have been way taking advantage of having nothing to do. A lot of resting for me (I'm... almost starting to feel better) and playing of Assassin's Creed Brotherhood for the both of us.

And because I want to.. I took this picture on my phone of me and Garrett a week and a half ago.

His faces are the best thing. Ever.

"Wanted" by Joshua Radin

I can only say, "Gaaah school has kept me from updating" so many times. But it's true. Life. Work. School. It's been hectic. All of my midterms happened in the last two weeks, so there's been a lot of studying and such.

Studying?? A college student?? What?!

But that's what's been going on. And when I haven't been doing the school/work/studying/sleeping/eating thing, I've started a new workout routine that involves running and doing the NYC Ballet Exercise DVDs. It's been something I've wanted to check out for awhile and I love it. It's a great workout to help posture, legs, back, abs... pretty much everything. 

It does make me realize how ungraceful I am, though. 

Can't win 'em all. Have to settle with my math/science brain.

And work on not needing to control every situation. (That...should probably be another blog post).

But I've convinced myself, Michael, Sarah and Shawn that we should run the 5k Turkey Trot next month. I've always wanted to do a 5k, but never got around to it. Now I'm forcing myself to when I can barely run a mile. Cause that sounds like a good idea. I keep hoping that my soccer-player-lungs will come back to me. They've gotta be around here somewhere, right?

Maybe??

Meh.

That is all for now... here's a few more pictures of this past week/weekend...

He never lets me take pictures of him...

Madi being a soccer master.

Mini-soccer player master.

Megan being an awesome tumbler.

Beth and I wearing shirts that our aunt and uncle made. Garrett looking unsure.

"A Beautiful Mess" by Jason Mraz

Jason Mraz is like John Mayer to me... I love some of his songs, and can not stand others. This one, I love. Especially because it's the Raining Jane Sessions... and Raining Jane is awesome.

Thanks to everyone for the words of support. Just needed a little venting time. I'm good now. :)

So my awesome bloggy friend, Becca, tagged me in this little quiz thing. I answer these 8 questions, then make up 8 questions and tag 8 people... (we'll see about that part.)

Hmmm. This is a tough one. Let's see. Iceland...

Switzerland... (where my family's from...)

 and Sweden.

This is a difficult one. I really care about all sorts of stuff. From family & friends, to silly things like SYTYCD, to debatable topics like gay rights (all for...) to great organizations like To Write Love On Her Arms.  Here's their mission statement, which says it better than I could...

It's a great organization, and lots of bands are part of making it well known. They have some awesome looking tshirts if you're in need of some new clothes... :)

Oh goodness... another difficult one. Watching my family at my loved ones' funerals is always difficult. But as far as something I have actually had to do... I'm not really sure. I've been blessed to never have too many horrible situations happen to me. Because right now all I can think of is Transport being the hardest thing I've ever done.

It depends on the day. I love the morning... it's a new day waiting for me to to make of it what I will. I love that. :)

I am way too indecisive to ever just pick one favorite thing. I could watch Moulin Rouge! about a million times in a row. The Lord of the Rings series will always be a favorite. Memento, Titanic, the Incredibles are all great.

Freakin' hate. Hate might be a hard thing to ban, but this is my quiz, and I'll ban what I want to.

Not usually... though I have my moments.

Let's see... I will be 31 (yikes!). I'd like to be at a job I love in a great city with a couple (or 3) kids. And still very much in love with Michael. Hopefully not too far from my family. As long as I'm loving... that's what really matters.

Yay!! I'm supposed to make 8 more questions and tag 8 people... but I'm being lazy. What you should do instead is check out Becca's blog and become friends with her. Cause she's awesome.

So what have I been doing while I wait for Michael to get home at night after I finish my homework and studying? SYTYCD stuff. There's a girl who's been to 4 shows on the east coast, and she's going to a 5th in Utah. She has gotten the most amazing pictures. She has over 3000 up on her flickr right now. And I'm in love with a ton of them.

I mean... seriously. How beautiful? I love that the pictures capture all the little moments in the dances you might not pick up on... Like the faces. There are some epic ones. Like Billy's in the last one.

Anyway. Michael has a concert tonight... I'm off to make myself look cute and cheer him on...

As much as you can at a concert band concert.

-"Everything Falls" by Fee

I really don't listen to the radio much anymore, but I heard this song awhile ago, and then Kathryn from sytycd quoted it on her twitter the other day when I very much needed to hear it.

I spent this past weekend in Wichita celebrating Gage's 9th birthday. I'm not exactly sure when he grew up so much... But it became evident he's quickly approaching his teenage years at his (tackle!) football game...

Seriously. I'm pretty sure this was just yesterday.

Anyway... We stopped by the pumpkin patch after his game, and I got a couple pictures of Garrett, who kept picking the pumpkins up and bringing them over to me.

And one more cute one of Garrett from the park that night...

Anyway... It was a good weekend. I've been missing my family, so that was good. Now it's back to work and school. After Michael got home from his rehearsal last night, he told me about his schedule for next semester. From the sound of things, next semester is going to be busier for both of us than this semester. Which seems ridiculous and not possible if you ask me, but... I'm proven wrong a lot.

I'm walking a fine line between being so, so incredibly proud of Michael, and all he's accomplishing, and being completely selfish about hating how much he's gone. I know it comes with the territory of being married to a musician, and I think I remember knowing what I was getting myself into... it's just hard. I leave before he gets up in the morning, and usually fall asleep before he gets home during the week. 

I'm also not sure how he does it... Class, rehearsals, work, sectionals... I think he eats somewhere in there, but I can't keep track anymore. I know that I miss him, though. It's rough. I'm hating myself for being such a downer about him being gone. I understand things could be much worse... I'm just not used to not having my best friend around to vent to. And when he is here, I feel bad for venting, because goodness knows he's going through much worse.

So here I am, venting on my blog. I'm sorry. 

Anyway. The weeks are flying by here. I can't believe we're almost to the middle of October already. The trees are turning gorgeous colors, we're hitting midterms and I feel like shoving my head through a wall after Transport Phenomena and all that jazz. 

Okay. Enough rambling and putting off English homework. :)

"Let the Rain" by Sara Bareilles