"Winter Song" by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson

(It's December... so winter-time music lyrics are good now.)

I'll go ahead and give warning that most of this post is me worrying, and having to talk out all the stuff in my head. There are some pretty pictures of an adorable baby at the end, though... so feel free to skip to those. :) I'll add some animations in here to break up my writing.

Oh, future. Your impending doom-ness freaks me out sometimes. The farther I get into the chemical engineering classes, the more I hear that to be able to get a job when I graduate, I need to have an internship for at least one summer, which would be this next summer. Okay. That should be doable. Except that I'm being ridiculously picky about what/where I'd like to work. Which is not good. I realize it's only 12 weeks this summer. That's doable wherever, but still. I'd like to stay relatively close to Manhattan.

Then there's the whole what I'd like to do. So many chem e's go into the oil refinery field. Which is pretty much the last thing I wanna do. With my other major being in biochem, I think the pharmaceutical industry is where I'd like to be. But then there's my ideal jobs... anything with biomedical engineering, or brewery engineering, or a coffee roasterie. As of right now, I'm looking for pretty much anything for next summer.

Failure is still one of my biggest fears. It happens... I know that. But applying for internships, facing the interviews... scares me. But, to get to where I want to be, I know it needs to be done. I am so ready to be out of school, with a real job, in a house, thinking about starting a family... Gotta be a big kid.

So many babies have been born recently. That never helps the me-wanting-to-have-a-baby thing. But every time I think about that, I just tell myself that I'm only 21, I want to be out of school, have a house and job so I can give the kid a good life. Not saying that the kid wouldn't have a good life if all of those wants weren't there, but that is where I want to be. As much as I'd like to jump to that time now, I know between now and then a lot of great memories will be made. Gotta enjoy this time.

Basically I'm scared of the next couple years. I'm afraid I won't get an internship, or I won't get a job, or I'll just be completely unhappy.

Meh. That's enough of the depressing talk. Just needed to get my thoughts down. Onto the more fun topics.

Finals next week!! I'm ready to get them done so I can have a month "off". (There'll be plenty of working in there.)

One of the many babies born recently was to a coworker of mine. She had a little boy named Calvin, and he's the smallest, sweetest little thing ever. I'm lucky enough that she let me come in and take a few pictures of him...

Isn't he precious?? Lauren and Cole are great parents, too. It'll be fun to watch him grow.

Okay. I'm off to read a book that hasn't been assigned to me for the first time in months. Yay!

LOVE.