Hope Still Flies

"So I put my arms around you... and I hope that I will do no wrong..."
-"Dancing" by Elisa


So I love Chai Tea. Vanilla Chai Tea or Chai Tea Lattes to be more specific. Thanks to my crazy job at the Borders Cafe, I have a sad, sad addiction. Only being fueled by the fact that my brother got me a hot pot (that boils water in like... 60 seconds) for my birthday, and finding Vanilla Chai at Dillons.... Yessss.
Oh yeah, my birthday was yesterday. 19 years of age now. When I say it, it seems older than it really is. I just think it's crazy. I kept forgetting during the week that my birthday was coming up. I got some awesome gifts, and Michael of course made it a great night with a Coldstone ice cream cake and WALL-E at the drive in, among other things. =)
I'm trying to let my worries of college and my future just go to the Big Man, because worrying definitely doesn't help me in any way, shape or form. I know that I will end up where I am supposed to, majoring in what I'm supposed to. Now.. I just have to get there. And I will. It'll all be okay. Yeap.
So, today, when I was out with my mom and sister, we went by Food For Thought on the east side. While my mom was looking for some healthy food that I can't pronounce or spell, I was spacing out (sorry, mom) and I looked behind me, and sitting there... The Kansas City Cookie. Which, might not sound like much to you, but I freaked out. I worked at Best Regards in Olathe, which is exactly where these cookies come from. They were still small when I worked there, and now they're wholesaling!! To places where I can get the cookies, nonetheless. I took one bite of the Margarita Tea Cookie when I got home, and I was back there in the warehouse, bagging those cookies for 8 hours, and smelling like lime the rest of the day. Oh goodness. I'm so proud of them. Good story.

Now... seriously. Try Chai.
And go to Food For Thought and buy some of those freaking cookies. You won't regret it.

Love love love
alex

"Can I trust what I can't see, to reach my destiny? I wanna take control, but I know better..."
-Unbreakable by fireflight

*Warning: This blogs about to get more personal.. more a place for me to just write what I'm thinking...*

I feel like the past year I've kinda strayed from where I need to be... in more ways than one. But I've been blessed with so much. College was a hard start for me. I thought I knew what I wanted, but I didn't. I fell from my faith... It's one of those things that you don't realize until you're too far out. Recently though, a lot of things have led me back, and I hope to be stronger than before. I think today really helped me. From just praying and researching and relying on God to lead me where I am supposed to be with the things that I'm stressing about... Which is mainly college and degrees and careers... I like to plan... though one thing I've learned is that I can plan as much as I want to, but things almost always turn out differently. I just have to put my trust where it's supposed to be. That's hard for me though. I can say I'll do it as much as I want, but I know that actually letting go is going to be difficult for me.
I have been blessed with so much more than I've ever deserved. Between Michael, my family and all of my amazing friends, I have a support system for everything.. people who will always be there for me, and I cannot be more thankful for that. I know I have people I can turn to now to help lead me back to my faith and help me to completely trust in God. Everything'll turn out like it's supposed to... That I do know.
So bring it on life. I know there will be good times and horrible times. I just have to be willing to take them as they come. Let's hope I can do it.
I hope that everyone that might be reading this is doing well. If any of you need anything, please, don't hesitate to ask. Whether we talk often, or rarely at all, I do care about you. So yeah... =)
Until next time... love and dreaming...
-Alex

Once again.. I'm lacking on the updates. But there's not a whole lot to update on...

School's out, summertime. I'm working pretty much full time at Seattle's Best Coffee in the Border's on the west side. It's definitely not a bad job, and I like the people I work with. When I'm not working I'm relaxing or working out or visiting my sister and her family on the east side. Somewhere inbetween I hang out with the rest of my family and Michael... (Who turned nineteen on Saturday! I feel like I'm getting old. =) )

I'm ashamed to say that I made it through all four seasons of One Tree Hill (on DVD) in a few short months, and I'm hopelessly addicted, and speaking of addictions... So You Think You Can Dance? started up too, and we're finally to the top twenty. We'll have to see how this season pans out. =)

On a more.. intrapersonal note... I'm really very happy with where I am in life right now. I wish I could figure out some of the college stuff, but I know that it'll all work itself out. I'm way in love with a guy who treats me so much better than I've ever deserved... a family who will support me no matter what my decisions, and a good job that I don't mind going to. I keep waiting for some sort of downfall, because that used to be how my life worked out. But I just keep praying that I'm being led the way I'm supposed to go, and I'll keep leaning on God. All'll be well.

Take it easy, and God bless.
alex

Oh... so close.

Down to eight days until I'm back home to Wichita. Well, nine technically.. but whatever. I'm headin back home this weekend because I've got relatives coming into town, which is going to be awesome. My dad's decided to have a cookout with my aunt and uncle that are coming in, the rest of my family, plus Michael (my boyfriend), Anastasia (Craig's girlfriend) and Phil (Beth's boyfriend). I don't know if that's ever happened before, but I think it's going to be a lot of fun... Sarah called me the other day when she was shopping for my dad's birthday (tomorrow! He'll be 50. =) ) and Mother's Day and asked if I heard the cookout was going down. I think she was kind of in shock because my dad has never actually invited any of them to stuff like this. It was funny.

But yeah... I'm one studio, one recitation, two lecture, three work shifts and four finals away from being done with my freshman year. I'm finally taking down my loft tomorrow (Yay!) and getting everything packed away... Tis a great feeling. And I get to see Judson Laipply (Evolution of Dance guy) premiere Evolution of Dance 2 tonight!

Back once again to the blog I seem to have neglected. Things are crazy, and I'm four weeks away from finishing my freshman year of college. It's definitely flown by, and I wouldn't trade the memories for anything. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I want to do with my life, but I know God will lead me to what I'm supposed to do. I'm getting very excited for my future, and everything that's going to come along with it.

This past weekend, several friends and I partook in Relay for Life here at K-State. It was an amazing experience and a ton of fun. I hope that maybe one day, I can help research to find a cure.

Well, that's all for now.. and I'm out.

I'm still alliiiiive

Howdy everyone that might possibly be reading my blog...

So school's going all right. My time is mainly spent in class, studying, eating or at Michael's. I feel like I haven't had a moment to relax. Hopefully that'll change this weekend. I plan on actually running for the first time by myself (during the day.. I'll be careful) on Saturday. I'm getting streesed... I have four exams next week, and I think I just need to have some time to myself to clear my mind.

Otherwise, everything's going ok. I survived my first exam... biology... 85%, which wasn't bad considering there was only 20 questions. Next week it's Bio, Chem, Calc and Psych. Psycho? Probably. But what'll you do? =)

1 week down...

Hallo everyone. Thought I'd go ahead and give a check in. Finished with my first week of classes. Though it feels like I've been here way longer. I didn't realize how small Manhattan is, and I'm already kinda figuring my way around. Classes are going all right so far, nothing too strenuous, except Calc II, but... whatever. I was expecting that class to be hard, so it doesn't matter. Otherwise, everything's good. My roommate and I get along well. I didn't realize how much of an advantage it'd be to have her be a year older. She already knows the ropes and everything, which makes things go a lot smoother. The food... well the food isn't all that great, but whatever. It'll be ok. I'm meeting a few people at a time. I've never been the real outgoing type, but I'm doing ok.

until next time..
alex

Holy college Batman!!

Some of my friends were watching the really old and ridiculous Batman and Robin at a movie night. It was hilarious, and I was exhausted, which made it more hilarious. And there was exploding sealife. Anyway... that was random...

I leave for college in two days. Truthfully, I'm scared senseless. I have all these people telling me it'll be ok, and I know it will be eventually, but the whole thought of it scares me. I really don't want to live in the dorms. I know it'll be a good experience for me, but the community everything... it doesn't excite me at all. My courseload scares me too. I'm regretting signing up for Calc 2. I keep hearing about how hard it is. I plan on going to class, and getting help if I need to, but truthfully, I've never been good at asking for help.

Plus my family will be far away. I'm such a homebody, and I'm so close to my whole family, that being away from them will not be easy. I know I'll be able to keep in touch, and for goodness sake, I'll be back in three weeks, but still. I'll have Michael up there, and I know he'll be there whenever I need him. Actually there's quite a few people I know, and it'll be nice having them there.

I think most of this scared-ness is... I don't want to fail. Not just with classes, but in general. I plan on working hard, and being careful. I want to be able to conquer this, and look back and be proud of what I've done. I'm finally ready to grow up. I've got a lot I want to do with the rest of my life, and this is just the beginning.

Anyway. This is all random. I'll probably start posting more, for people back home who feel like reading it. Who knows, maybe I'll even post pictures once I get a memory card for my camera.

So until next time... Godspeed.

HI!
No one reads this... So this is just a useless random post. Or I guess I can start posting things in my life I can't vocalize, so I can get it out.. hum. That would work... But yeah. I just figured I'd go ahead and make a new post.
There's.. really nothing to complain about right now. So yeah! Hi. heh.
-alex