Hope Still Flies

"Be strong in the lord, never give up hope. You're gonna do great things, I already know. God's got his hand on you so don't live life in fear. Forgive and forget but don't forget why you're here."
-"The Words I Would Say" by the Sidewalk Prophets

Beautiful song. Heard about it through Jonah's site, and I've been hearing it a lot on the radio lately.

Anyway, again... with the lack of updates. School is still ruling and I've once again realized how horrible of a test-taker I am. I tend to overthink everything and it ends up biting me. This week and last week were pretty horrible between school and work, but there seems to be slightly more free time this weekend, which is good. But, in general, I've been feeling more like this:



and this:


(which is one of my favorite moments in Glee ever. Jane Lynch is hilarious.)

Anyway. But my anger turns to exhaustion and I sleep it off and I'm good. =)

On another happier subject, a friend of mine posted this video on her facebook...



To me, there's not much sweeter than a dad with his newborn. That definitely made my heart melt and didn't help with my baby fever at all.

ahem.

(*Disclaimer to now freaked out friends and family: No, Michael and I won't be having a baby anytime soon. That doesn't mean I can't look at newborns and get all fuzzy and want one. It's right then that my biochemistry book reality usually hits me in the face and I'm okay. Really.)

I'm wishing I had more time to work on my photography skills, but alas. One school-related thing that I've actually been happy to work on is my research paper for my English class. I'm writing a paper on pediatric cardiology, and how right now there are very few mechanical options for neonates and young pediatrics in heart failure. There's some really awesome research going on in that field right now, including a completely internal VAD that could branch kids over until transplant. I wish I could be part of that research, but for now I'll just have to write about it.

Anyway. More randomness, I apologize. But for now, I'm signing off again.
much love,

alex

"I Believe."
- from Spring Awakening.

Yup.

Just a warning, this is pretty much a crazy post about seeing Spring Awakening last night. A bunch of randomness. Because I have no one to rant to here. Michael will listen, but I know he's not interested. So..my poor blog friends... you get to listen.

It. Was. AMAZING.

Just like the first time. I'd just forgotten how amazing it is.

Two of the main characters were played by different people this time. Jake Epstein is playing Melchior now. I will admit, at first, I was a bit wary. Jake was on Degrassi, which I watched for awhile. He was great on there, but his character, Craig, didn't get with Ellie and I got mad and stopped watching didn't make me sure Jake could do Broadway. But he can. Most definitely. He threw some acting stuff in there that was different from the last time I saw it, and it was great. He has a great voice, too. I think he kind of approached Melchior differently, than Kyle Riabko, which is cool. He made Melchior his own. Amazing. I'm pretty sure his "Left Behind" is my favorite so far.

And then Taylor Trensch played Moritz, and I think he just started a couple weeks ago. He was great, too. He did a fantastic job, and especially "Don't do Sadness/Blue Wind" was ... gah. He and Steffi D got so into it that I wanted to get up and rock out.

I didn't think the people around me would appreciate that. Especially the old couple behind us who wouldn't shut up. People.

But, I digress.

Everyone else was just as amazing. I heard so many compliments on everyone's voices and they are so right. Every person on that cast is extremely talented. They always give it their all, and I love how into the music everyone gets. Even the band. And the swings that are sitting on stage. I definitely teared up at several points during the show. At first because I was so excited to be there (lame) and then during "Touch Me", just because it's one of my favorite songs and the harmonies and... yeah. Of course I teared up during the sad parts, and then during "Song of Purple Summer". The harmonies of that song are so amazing. Even Michael made a comment about it. And it was over. So. Sad.

But the raw energy of "Totally F'ed" is just.. insane. When Jake screamed "Yes!" people were cheering and then, of course, I got major chills after that when they stop and turn and shout the blah blah part to the audience. It was intense. And after some consideration, I decided I like the new "Whispering". *thumbs up*

And I'm pretty sure I could go on for forever about the amazing-ness and how everybody should see it, and how I was excited that I only saw one couple get up and leave (silly Kansans) and all that jazz. But I should probably stop and go do homework.

But if you haven't listened to the soundtrack and you aren't too easily offended... check it out. So. Much. Love. Forever and ever. If the tour gets near here again, I'm definitely buying stage seats, because that's the next steps. Hopefully I wouldn't have a complete breakdown.

I'd be good.

Okay... No lyrics... just this new Michael Buble song... I love it. The video is awesome and now I have to dance everytime I hear the song. =)



Oy. Once again, it's been forever since I posted. Wouldn't ya know that life got crazy busy again.

Huh.

But yeah... school has once again gotten ridiculous, between papers and homework and exams, it's a miracle I have time to sleep. And, of course, I got sick. A nice head cold to add to the mix. Gotta keep life interesting, ya know? Ha. So my nose is clearly out to get me and be my demise. Poor Michael has a chest cold, he's coughing up a storm. Swine flu? Maybe. More likely bronchitis. If it gets any worse, I'm forcing him to go to the health clinic here. Hopefully we'll both be better by this weekend, because we're having a little getaway in KC to see Spring Awakening!

I'm way more excited than he is. He is really dreading it, but he loves me, so he's gonna put up with it.

=)

Other than all that jazz, just the usual. Family's great. My littlest nephew is already in 6-month old clothes at 3 months and my other nieces and nephew are growing like weeds too. I told them all they had to stop.

We'll see how that works out.

So I'm sure all of you saw the wedding entrance to "Forever"... (If you didn't, check it out...) Anyway... Jim and Pam's wedding on The Office was this past Thursday... and they did this.


How awesome would it be to say your wedding inspired part of an episode of The Office?!?! Lucky ducks. Anyway, I had to find that ending to the video, because 1) it's sweet & 2) I would have bought the boat tickets, too. Haha.

All righty. Off to take more decongestant. That stuff works miracles.

"My chains are gone, I've been set free. My God, my Savior has ransomed me. And like a flood, His mercy reigns. Unending love, amazing grace."
-"Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)" by Chris Tomlin

Apparently I'm a little late jumping onto this song... My little sister introduced me to it. I think I'd somehow avoided it when listening to the Christian stations, because I'm not a big fan of "Amazing Grace" remakes, but this is different. If you haven't listened to it, check it out.



Tonight, I heard this song on my way home from my friends' house. It came on right after "Sea of Faces" by Kutless (another great song), which happens to be one of the first "Christian songs" I loved. Kutless was also the first CCM CD I bought. (besides Plus1, but that's a way different story). Anywho, I heard both of these songs, and I just felt God's presence with me. It was completely overwhelming, because it's been awhile since I've felt that way. Completely tingling and in-tune.

No big miracles happened today (though, little miracles happen everyday... If you read Jonah's story, you know that...), and nothing terrible happened. It was just another day. But now, the stress I'd been feeling is gone and I'm completely at peace right now. I don't know exactly how to explain it, but it's nights like these that I'm brought back and grounded, and I remember that I need to be extremely thankful for what I have. I have an amazing husband and family, my friends are some of the best out there. I have a house, food, I'm getting an education. Another reason to be happy. To do good deeds.

I'm also not sure exactly where this post came from, I just felt the need to express how I'm feeling. And also to let people know that if they need prayer requests, I am constantly taking them. It's one thing I can do from anywhere for anyone.

Until next time (which will probably be back to my boring old self), much love,

Alex

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have."
~Frederick Keonig

How true that statement is. I have many favorite quotes, and was trying to pick one to start off this post, and this one just jumped out at me.

Happiness.

I've been trying to figure out how to begin this little shpeal.. I think I'll start off with some personal experience from work.... For those who don't know, I work in a cafe that's part of a bigger book/movie/music store. I have my fair share of run-ins with all sorts of different people. Happy, sad, angry, nonchalant... pretty much every kind of emotion. I've found it true that happiness is contagious... but so is anger. When I get a happy, thankful customer, it puts me in a happier mood. Angry or bitter customers just put me in a bad mood.

But then, in that bad mood, I've wondered, "Who is this person to come in here and make me unhappy? I shouldn't be catching their bad mood, I should be extending my happiness out to them." And so I have been making more of a conscious effort to be extra helpful and happy to those who look like they need it. Sure, sometimes it just backfires and people just withdraw more and push back. It's then that I decide that there's only so much I can do, and I hope that they can find happiness somewhere. I smile and thank them for coming in and that I hope they have a good day, because it's true.

My grandma was always happy. It was one of the things I admire about her. She was an amazingly loving, giving, happy person. I'm hoping that one day, I can love and give as much as she did. When we would visit she would always be laughing and smiling and it really seems like nothing ever got her down. If she burned something while baking, she would say, "Oh shoot," and then just carry on. I know so many people who would be so mad that they had ruined something that they would just be upset for hours. I used to do that too.

But now I realize that life is way too short to be angry or upset. For every second that we're unhappy, a happy second is lost, and can never be gotten back. At the end of my life, I want to know that I was as happy as much as I could, and made the best out of bad situations. I want my happiness to spread to other people, so they can spread it on. There are enough bad things in this world, and not nearly enough good ones.

So, the next time you spill something, instead of getting upset, laugh to yourself and say, "Well, I should be more careful next time!"

I spill things. Often.

But I find that smiling or laughing about it and cleaning it up and getting on with my day feels so much better than getting upset or mad at myself and being in a bad mood.

Next time you're walking on campus or down the street, make eye contact with people and smile at them. Because you really never know how much of a difference that can make.

And if they think you're crazy... their loss. =)

Next time someone's being negative and you find your own mood deteriorating, change the subject. Or just remember that there's no reason that a bad mood should win out.

I understand that there will be times to be upset or sad or mad. I just don't think that these moments should outnumber the happy.

There is also way too much hate in this world. People not accepting other people for whatever reason. I don't want to step too far into religious boundaries here (that's a completely different post). I consider myself a Christian. I believe in God and Jesus. But I don't think it's fair to shove beliefs on other people, or to tell them what they believe is wrong. (I don't consider going to different countries and teaching people about Jesus shoving beliefs, just for the record.) All that is doing is creating hate. I am all for love. Telling someone "I'm right and you're wrong" is usually just going to make that person push back harder, which is not going to help the situation. Just because someone is different or believes something different than me doesn't mean that I tell them that they're wrong and I'm right and that would could never be friends.

Love, people... Love.

I apologize for the disorganization and everything of this post. Of course, nothing came out quite like I wanted it to. I've never been the best with writing. (No matter what my mother tells you.) I just... wish there could be more happiness. There's never enough off it.

I'm going to end this post with a song that's been popular on the Christian stations recently. It's called "Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus)" by Chris Rice. The first time I heard it, I was a mess. Even now, if I sit by myself, really think about it, and sing along, I'm a mess. I hope you like it.


Much, much love.


P.S. Tomorrow I might be trying to redo my blog layout again. So I apologize if it's a mess.

"The sky looks pissed. The wind talks back. My bones are shifting in my skin, and you, my love, are gone."
"The Chain" by Ingrid Michaelson

I definitely can't relate to this song... but it's my favorite Ingrid Michaelson song... so you should check it out.

Just sayin'.

I had a great weekend... last weekend when I went back home to help my parents. There was lots of packing and manual labor involved, but it was well worth it to hang out with all of them. My parents are all moved mostly moved into their new house. I love the new place, and think it'll be a great fit for them.

Of course... I took the opportunity to take plenty of pictures of my sister's kids...

Garrett's two months old now... and loves his blanket. My mom was babysitting him while my sister went to yoga with my dad, and Garrett was inconsolable for the whole time, until she gave him that blanket, and then he quieted right down.



I wanted use what little amount of creative juices I had on my older nieces and nephew, but I forgot how early it gets dark now...






They're great kids... all full of amazing personality. I can't believe how old they're getting.

Last picture... I got Garrett to smile and giggle a little bit from tickling him...


I'm all for making babies smile and giggle. It's pretty awesome.

I'm still feeling pretty overwhelmed with school... it seems like there's never a free moment, but I think that I'm going to try to get a little ahead this weekend. But I did have a dream last night about my research paper for English (Written Communication for Engineers. Sound like fun, right?), except I decided to make a heart out of clay. (I'm probably writing about how to improve pediatric artificial hearts) Which was found in the unformable materials in the store. lol. And then woke up in a cold sweat. Oh, school.

Michael and I are doing great... No matter how rough the day, I know that at the end of it, I get to fall asleep next to him, which makes everything okay. We're planning our trip to KC next month to see Spring Awakening (!!!), and I'm getting pretty excited about it.

Understatement.

Uhoh... The new New Moon trailer is out. Here's to hoping it's better than Twilight. (Which wasn't horrible.. I'm just not a fan of some of the acting...) Which reminds me, that all of my shows are coming back! Not having any TV channels makes this not so fun... But Mike and I watched Glee finally last night (LOVE IT!). I haven't had a chance to watch SYTYCD yet, but I think I'll watch it while I do homework, before work... I'm planning on having One Tree Hill watch parties with all of my old roommates... The Office, Fringe, Grey's, Private Practice and all the rest I'll just have to watch online. But I'm excited, nonetheless.

I'm hoping to write another post tomorrow... Nothing fancy... just about being happy and everything.

So until next time...

"When no one looks the clouds come rolling in. And under darkened skies buildings grow big teeth and eyes..."
-"Giants" by Five Iron Frenzy

I will always love that band. And the lyrics are true.

Well... not really.

But.. maybe?

Anyway.


Yes.

And I wish. Haha.

I'm sorry for being such a horrible blogger... I can't believe it's been two weeks since I've blogged. Things have been kinda hectic. Apparently I way underestimated what I was undertaking this semester. Right now I'm pretty sure the goal of all my classes are to make me feel dumb. It's working. I can't seem to remember the simplest things for my biochemistry lab. Or any of my classes for that matter.

Plus it seems like I'm always doing homework right now. I'm definitely even more glad now that Michael and I got married this past summer. I definitely wouldn't be seeing him at all if we weren't living together. I'm not seeing him much as it is. We're quite the busy people.

I've even slackened off on my dinner making.

And I love cooking.

But, I did jump back on the wagon tonight and made some chicken cutlets out of chicken breasts and threw some olive oil on them and coated them in a panko bread crumb and herb/spice mixture. I just finished mine... pretty darn good. Plus rice... and corn.

Oops.

I abandoned the corn in the microwave. All's well now.

Anywho... Besides memorizing all twenty structures and names of amino acids (that weren't on the quiz today. Go figure.) I'm trying to remember my english skills, and how to stay awake in my biology class.

Glycine, alanine, valine, leucine, isoleucine, methionine, proline, phenylalanine, tryptophan, serine, threonine, glutamine, asparaginine, lysine, tyrosine, cysteine, histidine, aspartic acid and gultamic acid.

In case you were wondering.

Sigh.

Uh oh.. I've gotta be at the library in 15 minutes to meet my group to do my process analysis homework.

Yipee.

Heading home this weekend, because my parents are moving (they bought a house!!) so lots of pictures of the kids will definitely be up next week.

"Long walks in the dark, through woods grown behind the park. I asked God who I'm supposed to be. The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep. I had a dream."
"Dream" by Priscilla Ahn

Priscilla Ahn is another one of those quieter indie girl artists... kinda like Sara Bareilles, Ingrid Michaelson and Rachael Yamagata. I love that song... you should check it out.

Michael and I are almost all the way through this past season of the Office.


I love it. So excited for this coming season, no doubt. And actually, today I bought a three pack of legal pads... that have to do with The Office. I don't usually use legal pads.. but they're awesome. and I'm sure Michael will use them.

My nieces and nephew started school yesterday. They're all all day now.. Megan in kindergarten, Madi in first grade, and Gage in second. I can't believe how big they are already! But baby Garrett is still stuck at home with mom.. But he's got a pretty awesome shirt, so that's okay..


He's six weeks old today, too. Pretty cute, huh? I also recently downloaded Gimp for our desktop, and got to playing around with it.. (It's a free image editor that's supposedly a lot like Photoshop...)


Now that I see it on my laptop, I see I've missed a spot... but I'll deal with it later. If you're looking for a free photo editor, I'd definitely highly recommend Gimp... it's good stuff.

I'm almost ready for classes to start... next Monday. I bought my engineering paper today ($7 for 200 sheets. ugh. Ridiculous) and have pens and pencils ready... I only haven't bought one book, plus my biochem lab stuff... but that'll have to wait for after classes start.

Michael and I went and saw the Time Traveler's Wife on Friday... and while (of course) I thought the book was better.... they hit a lot of the main points. And I still got teary at the end. Michael just thought it was horrible depressing. And if you're looking for a good book (trilogy) to read, I'd check out the Mortal Instruments Trilogy. That's a link to the first book. It has the same kind of sci-fi feel as Twilight... and it's considered a Young Adult book, but it's good. I'm on the second book right now. They're pretty quick reads, but still good. Anyway.. if you're bored.

And heck, if you're looking for a good musical, check out Next to Normal. Shannon saw it on Broadway and told me how great it was, so I've been listening pretty much nonstop. Consequently the songs have been stuck in my head all of the freaking time. So I listen some more. It's a vicious circle.

I'm hoping once classes start back up, I'll start updating more again, as I'll be looking for ways to avoid studying. Heh. So yeah... For now, I'm off to cook dinner.

"Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am, and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be. But you're onto me, and all over me."
-"Gravity" by Sara Bareilles

I'm a big Sara Bareilles fan. So when they used this song for a dance on SYTYCD. I was pretty excited. The dance was about addiction... The guy playing the addiction and the girl the addict. I'd never thought about the song like that before... It's actually my favorite dance from this season.



Speaking of which, Jeanine won, which is awesome. She's only 18 and an amazing dancer. She's using the prize money to... 1. Go to UCLA 2. Buy each person from the top 20 a pair of sweatpants (lol) and 3. She's giving some money to the Alzheimer's foundation her and her sister started. In case... you wanted a SYTYCD update.

Anywho. My two icons for the post...

I am, once again, very very excited for ^ this movie to come out. The Time Traveler's Wife. Next Friday!

Oh, if only math were that easy. ( x = 5 cm., btw. In case you didn't know.) GEEK

Speaking of...



Oh dear. This book (along with my Biochemistry book) will be my best friend until I die, I hear. My Chemical Process Analysis book. The textbook is called "Elementary Principles of Chemical Processes". Doesn't it sound like a blast? If it didn't, just check out that picture. Now that looks like fun.



but really.. the summer's ending is fast approaching, and between working and sleeping, Michael and I have become addicted to The Office. I mean... really. After the wedding, we watched season 1, and it's all been crazy since then. We just finished season 3, and season 4's ready to be watched. And then I'll find season 5 online to be ready for this fall's season 6. It's hilarious... I don't even know what else to say about it.

Okay, I apologize for the randomness of this post... and that it's been so long between postings. I'm trying, I promise. =)

"Looking down I lay, I keep holding my chains. No longer bound, but here I stay. I scream, Father, please, I need rescuing, I need You and You alone."
- "Freedom" by Run Kid Run

I... don't really think that one needs further explanation. Amazing song.

I've decided I have way too many avatars, and no where to post them... So I'll start posting a few here... This time...


Oh, CW, you're like a freaking train wreck. I just can't stop watching. Especially OTH.
Plus, SYTYCD is on tonight... Evan's the only guy I really like that's left, and I feel really bad for him because he's not as strong in everything as the other guys, but he has a huge tween fanbase who vote fanatically for him. (Not that I've done that in past seasons....) But since he's not quite as good, the judges like to destroy him. Boo judges. Nigel and his stupid comments. (As a sidenote, I read in an article that Evan and his brothers play World of Warcraft. Aww. Yay nerds.) Really, I like a couple of the girls better... but they're harder to find icons of... (Mainly because, I think, most of the icon-makers are girls... ya know.) =)

And instead of Wordless Wednesday this week... I'm trying out Jenna's new thing....


So, let me see...

• I don't like the quiet. I usually have music playing if I'm home alone. Even when I'm studying or reading... I usually have some sort of background noise.

• I don't regret getting married at all. Some people are convinced I'm going to miss the whole "college scene" of going to parties, getting drunk and sleeping with random people. But I don't think I'll ever understand why people think that's fun.

• I don't do rap music... but I'll listen to almost anything else.

• I don't eat all that healthy. I'm trying to change that now that I'm cooking more often... but I've discovered I like baking more than cooking. Uh oh.

• I don't consider myself completely left-brained. (logical, objective, etc.) I definitely have a random, musical/artsy part of me.

• I don't understand why people have to hate other people, just because they're different. I'm pretty "middle-of-the-road" and unconfrontational about a lot of things... But when people just automatically judge and dislike someone for being "different"... that's not cool.

I think that'll do for now... I hope everyone's doing well... (and keep baby Stellan in your thoughts and prayers... along with all of those other sick babies.)