Last year I wrote a super sappy post.

This year. My heart has hardened and that's not happening.

Okay. That's not true. My heart is still a gushy, gooey mess when it comes to Thad. But I'm instead doing a list of things I've learned over the past two years as a parent.

Ready?

* I've learned what things sound like enough that I can decipher what my toddler is doing from the other room
* Mumbling means your kid will also mumble
* It's completely possible to run on little sleep and no caffeine
* Your kid getting genuinely scared is one of the hardest things to see
* Adults don't know everything
* It's sometimes really hard not to laugh when your kid does something wrong and you need to discipline but it's adorable
* Kids don't mind watching the same 20-minute show. Over and over. And over.
* Pee, poop, puke ain't no thang.
* You can say you won't be "that parent" all you want. But you will be in one aspect or another.
* I'm a super pushover. Doughnuts? Go for it. Bread at 3 am? Why not.
* At the same time, I'm learning I can set boundaries. And say no to the cutest person on the planet.
* Kids are way smarter than you give them credit for
* I laugh way more than I thought possible on a daily basis
* You can always find the answer you want if you look long enough on Google. (Toddler bed at 18 months? Sure! 3 years? Why not! Cough? They're fine. Or maybe they have pneumonia.)
* On that note, if anyone ever checked my Google search history, they'd probably take Thad away. ("she gives him BENADRYL!?")
* You'll catch all kinds of sicknesses you have never had
* The sound of your kid's cry will do things to your head. And heart. It wakes me from sleep before I even realize what's going on.
* Small people make very large messes very quickly. Usually right after you clean.
* Not every parent's experience will mirror yours.
* Having friends that are parents is super important. They understand why your house is a disaster. They are understanding when you need to vent about your kid not sleeping. They won't look down on you when 95% of your facebook posts are about your kids. They might have tips or tricks you don't think of when your kid won't eat vegetables (thanks, Chelsea!). They also understand when you have to cancel a playdate because you just can't take anymore today.
* Even though I am a smart and well-educated woman, and I know better, I compare my kid to other kids. I can't help it. But I also try not to stress about it.
* Car seats are way more confusing than you think. And now I'm too educated, and am going to feel bad when I turn my kid to forward facing in the next year. (But seriously, keep your kids rear-facing until 2 years old!!)
* The best way to get your independent toddler to do something they don't want to do (suctioning nose, take medicine, drink milk) is to let them help with the process.
* Mom (or even just parent) guilt is a super real thing. Even trying not to let it get to me. I get paranoid when I'm out in public about people judging me. On pretty much every decision. Formula feeding (check), being a working mom (check), paci use (check), my kid eats sugar (check check check). Even reminding myself that I'm doing what I feel is best for my family, it's still tough.
* Having kids is easily one of the best joint decisions Michael and I have made. Right behind choosing to eat at the Waffle Iron the day after Valentine's Day.

A small selection of things, of course. And I did go back and read my post from last year and it gave me feelings, like it should. Things that I picked up on last year, still apply. He still intertwines his hands, either in front or behind his back, especially when he's nervous.