Hope Still Flies

Night Jessamine - Michael Brecker

So... I dunno if I've ever posted pictures of my nieces and nephew... but last month over spring break when I was home, I watched the kids play soccer and took some pictures. And my older sister (their mom) has been trying to keep up a website with the pictures.. so... Here... Gage is 7, Madison is 6 and Megan will be 5 on June 1st. And I honestly can't believe how big they're all getting. AND Beth's due with baby 4 on July 7th. So excited there's going to be another baby around. =) (And I seriously apologize if I've posted these. But they're just so gosh darn cute.)

"In a field of yellow flower, underneath the sun. Bluest eyes that spark with lightning, boy with shoes undone. He is young, so full of hope, reveling in tiny dreams. Filling up his arms with flowers right for giving any queen. Running to her beaming bright while cradling his prize. A flickering of yellow light within his mother's eyes. She holds them to her heart, keeping them where they'll be safe. Clasped within her very marrow, dandelions in a vase."
-"Dandelions" by Five Iron Frenzy



One of my favorite songs from my all-time favorite band. Which happens to be a ska band. But Reese (the lead singer) can write some amazing lyrics. Including these. Even if you don't like the music, just reading the lyrics is amazing... most songs tell a story. These make me picture future, and how I can't wait for the day my son does this to me. A very long time from now. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to be a mother. It's the one thing I've dreamed about since I was little. But, Michael and I completely plan to wait until we've got good jobs before starting a family. But still, I can't wait. =)

I now understand why people elope.

Seriously. At first, the prospect of planning a wedding seems amazing. And in some aspects, it is. It'll be the one time I do this, and I want to do it right. I want to amaze people and remember every detail. It's just getting there that is the tough part. I'm at the point though, where I'd just like to be married... to be done with it all. Today we went and bought most of the vases for our centerpieces... (That will be filled partially with coffee beans and flowers will be put in there...) and I bought the necessary equipment to make my DIY Card Box. I'll be sure to post pictures when it's all done with. Same with the centerpieces. What I have to do now is get all the vases packed so I can get them back to Wichita.

Which I'm scared to do tonight. Because...

Well, if you know me, you know I'm not the most graceful person on the planet. At all. That's why I'm wearing white Converse at my wedding. Hahaha. Anyway. Today was a particularly ... bad day. First... I was rushing to get my organic lab to my TA before it was any more late. (Due... 7:45 am.) So I was sprinting up a flight of stairs, and of course... wham. trip and faceplant. On cement stairs. I have an awesome bruise now. Then, tonight, I was making dinner.. Pulled my chicken fries out of the oven and put them on a plate. threw my potato wedges on the same cookie sheet and was definitely thinking about what to post tonight and grabbed the cookie sheet with my bare hand. Ouch. So all of those potato wedges landed on the bottom of the oven, beneath the coil and all. Thankfully nothing caught fire and my fingers more or less survived the ordeal.

Bottom line... I don't really know if I trust myself with vases tonight. I guess we'll see.

After a crazy rollercoaster ride... Baby Stellan's heading to Boston to get an ablation... and he could use all the thoughts and prayers he could get.

much love,
alex

I've decided to start posting youtube videos or embed an imeem song to go with my lyrics. I think it'll be easier to make you all listen to it. =) Anyway... the video is the song, but he sings it with Ingrid Michaelson, which makes it 100 times better. So good.

So I decided to take Brittany up on her 10 Pictures on the 10th Day challenge. It was a beautiful day, plus it's an excuse to show people a little more about me... if you didn't already know. Here we go...

I guess first off... this is where I live. Middle-of-nowhere KS. Oh, boy howdy.


Music is a huge part of my life. I'm always listening to it... On my walks between classes, doing homework, at night... pretty much all the time. As you can see... it takes up a lot of space on my computer. Thankfully, Michael has some sort of external hard drive called "The Cave" because apparently it holds an insane amount of stuff. He told me how much. I don't remember. But over 4000 songs. Eesh.


I'm a tomboy... so I've never worn much jewelry. My new watch is there in the back. The rings (which are out of focus... oops.) are (from left) my promise ring, my engagement ring, and my purity ring. Engagement ring I wear everyday, and I usually wear my purity ring, but I put my promise ring (which is kinda a purity ring too..) for the wedding last Saturday and haven't switched back yet.


I have a tattoo. Which usually surprises people. It's on my left shoulder-blade and honestly sometimes I forget it's there. I got it for my 18th birthday (much to Michael and my father's dismay), but I love it. I found it and automatically thought, "It means to love through the light and the dark." I'm still in love with it.


My university campus is really pretty. Most of the buildings are pretty ancient, and they keep up campus grounds really well. This is a pretty bad picture, but I was short on time. If that tree weren't in the way, you would be able to better see the castle-looking building off to the left.


I love "fufu" coffee drinks. I think being a barista has only intensified that, but eh. I've had to watch it though, because the acidity is too much sometimes. Plus since becoming lactose intolerant, I've had to switch to soy. It's just not the same. Today I got a vanilla white chocolate mocha from Caribou Coffee.


I complain about the weather here, but today was gorgeous. (Meaning it'll probably snow tomorrow...) Windy, but I think after awhile, you forget what it's like for it not to be windy here. Anyway, on gorgeous days, it's possible to see for miles here when on top of a hill. Pretty amazing.


I love pictures. This is my desk area... With pictures. That frame hanging above my desk is my favorite frame that I own.


My not-so-great attempt for an addition to the Praying for Stellan Name Gallery.


Ah... There.. My Mikey. How adorable is he?! This was right before he started making sad faces at me. :p I love him. (psst. 8 weeks until we're getting married. ahhh!)

There ya have it! I do have a quick thought/prayer request for all of you... Several states are getting hit hard today with tons of tornadoes. In Murfreesboro, TN a mother and her three-month old baby were killed. So many more homes damaged or destroyed. And that's only one of many towns hit today. :(

Happy Good Friday to those who celebrate it!
much love,
alex

"Push me 'til I have to fly. I've shed my skin, and I've shed my scars. Take me deep out past these lights, where nothing dims these stars, nothing dims these stars."
-"Car Crash" by Matt Nathanson

So I've got a lazy afternoon/evening in store and am so excited. New Grey's Anatomy and then the series finale of ER. Sadness. I haven't really watched since Dr. Carter left. I got hooked between when my dad watched (right when it first started... I was 5) and then summer reruns on TNT a few years ago. Anyyway. I love the show. It's about the time they ended it, but it's still sad.

Anywho, Becca posted this on her blog, and I think it's brilliant. Basically you...
1. Answer the questions down below.
2. Go to Flickr and put your answer to the question in the search bar. Using only the first search page, pick a picture that you like best.
3. Copy and paste the URL for each image into the 'Mosaic Maker' at http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php . Don't forget to change the dimensions to 3x3.
4. And there ya go! Save it to your computer and post it to your blog if you'd like.

Here's mine!



1) What is your name? Alexandra (Cooler results than Alex. =) )
2) What is your favourite drink? Coke. Though it shouldn't be.
3) What is your favourite food? Potatoes
4) What is your favourite Colour? Blue
5) Where is your dream vacation? Snowboarding. (Or Australia, but my first pic is from Australia)
6) Favourite hobby? Music.
7) What do you want to be when you grow up? Scientist
8) What do you love most about your life? Love.
9) One word to describe you? Blessed


Pretty sweet, eh?
much love,
alex

it looks better bigger....

"When the night comes and you lay your head to rest, no more trials and no more tests. When the night comes..."
-"When the Night Comes" by Dan Auerbach

I love crawling into bed at night. One of my favorite times of day....

Wedding invitations are almost all the way done! Just finishing up getting a few addresses and everything. One thing I can finally cross off the list... only so much more to go... (and 75 days!!)

Speaking of... Michael and I watched (well, I forced him to watch)...

yesterday. I actually liked it even more than I thought I would. Yes, in places the script was laughable and some of the acting was questionable, but there were some pretty intense parts as well. I think Michael liked it more than he thought he would too. Really, though, the movie has a great message for all couples, whether you're religious or not. This, and my premarital counseling book, and several blogs I read on here have helped me to take a step back and really evaluate myself. I realized that perhaps I was expecting too much out of my relationship. I think that people do in general. It's easy to do something and expect something in return. But really, we should just do something or say something nice to the ones we love for just that reason... we love them. I am guilty of waiting for Michael to do something or say something, but why wait when I can do something nice/say something nice to him first? I love him whole-heartedly, and nothing will ever change that. Though we'll age and change, one thing that will always be there is our love for each other.

So for now I'm trying to be more patient, more understanding and more loving. It's a day-by-day thing...

I'm horrible at explaining things. Everyone should just watch the movie.

And while you're out buying/renting the movie, you should also....
pick up this book. I'm still reading it (when I get the time...) It also has a great message. Though it has more of a religious setup. I think it really helps with the "Why's" and "What if's" of tragedy. Especially because in tragedy it's easy to blame God, and wonder how such an amazing "God" could do such horrible things. I won't even try to explain this one. It's a great book.

I think that'll be all for now. I've put off my prelab long enough. I would like to ask that everyone still keep Stellan and Jonah in their thoughts and prayers. Plus all of the other families out there who need it. There are so many experiencing pain...

"Sorry, I'm not home right now. I'm walking into spiderwebs. So leave a message and I'll call you back."
-"Spiderwebs" by No Doubt

Oooh, old school No Doubt. Back when they were more ska-ish than pop-ish. Oh well...

So I had a great spring break. Not as much downtime as I thought I'd have, but it was a productive week.

Saturday I got up early to go cheer on my nieces at their soccer games. It was pretty chilly, but it was worth it. I can't believe how big they're getting! Here's a few pictures..

Madi...

Gage hanging out with me.

Megan...

Seriously... where'd the time go? I know this new Nameless Nephew will grow up just as fast. Goodness.

We got a lot of stuff settled for the wedding over break, and I honestly feel a lot a little better about the whole thing. We talked with the church and found out what we could use, and they're being very flexible. On everything but dancing. No dancing. That's okay though, there'll be music definitely. And I promised Michael I'd make the whole no dancing thing up to him. (He was the one looking forward to it...) We also found a cake place, and I got a dress and figured out bridesmaids dresses. Invitations are hopefully going to get done this week and I'm figuring out the programs. I decided to kick blue out as a color, so now it's just green, black and white, which I'm totally okay with. There's a whole bunch of other little things too...

But for now, it's back to schoolwork. I have a quiz tomorrow and a test on Friday, with lots of studying to do inbetween.

Before I go, I ask that anyone reading keep baby Stellan in their thoughts and prayers. He was the baby that had supra-ventricular tachycardia in the womb, but was born healthy. He's been perfectly fine these last 4 months, but for some reason it's come back in full force, with his heartrate shooting up to (and staying near) 300 bpm for decent periods of time. I can only imagine what MckMama and her family are going through right now, and they could use all the thoughts and prayers we can spare.

love,
alex

I am very in love with my amazing, Irish, "gangster", trumpet player.

Okay. Let me back up.

I am a huge jazz fan. I've been listening to it since the day my parents drove me home from the hospital. My dad's been listening to jazz since who-knows-when and, thankfully, exposed me at a young age. Since then I've been fascinated with jazz and the saxophone. The tenor, to be specific. As I grew up I went through music phases, but jazz always stuck around. Mainly because my dad played it every day. Still does, actually. I ended up playing saxophone in my school bands and I played jazz in junior high and high school. As much as I love jazz, I was never very good at the whole improvising thing.

For that reason I have a huge respect for people who play jazz, and play it well.

My fiance? Yeah, he's one of those who can play it. And play it well. I know I'm biased and everything, but seriously.

I went to his jazz combo concert tonight. (Minitaure jazz bands... 6 people instead of 20) He's in a group called the Housewreckers. Now, I love all jazz, but the slow, gritty jazz I really love. The kind that stems from heartbreak or love. I think that's what Michael solos the best on, too. They played Round Midnight and he soloed (he's great at improving...) and... gah. I mean, anytime he plays, I'm more proud of him than I can even say. But tonight I had love coming out of my ears, and I was smiling so big I thought my face my burst.

And then I realized that I played sports for too many years, because when he was done I had the biggest urge to stand up and go, "WHOOOOOO! Yeah, Michael! You... play that trumpet!" lol. Seriously though. Too many years on a soccer field. (Though I miss that as much as I miss playing my saxophone... that's another post though...)

Point of my story?

I love jazz. And I love Michael. And he is an amazing trumpet player.

And I wish more people appreciated jazz.

Now... off to do physics homework. Homeward bound tomorrow after my programming test!! So excited. Spring break! (aka time to find a wedding dress. eek.)

much love,
alex

no lyrics tonight... everyone should listen to a jazz song. =)

"But the hour glass just flipped itself over again. The sun is slowly sinking down, but on the other side a new day awaits to begin..."
-"Dare to Believe" by Boyce Avenue

Sorry it's been over a week... things have gotten a little crazy around here. I studied all week for a test last Friday that I still got a C- on, which is frustrating. Then I had one test this week and I have three more next week, but then it's spring break! It's amazing how fast this semester's flying by. Enrollment for the fall begins soon, and my schedule looks... demanding to say the least. Plus trying to find an apartment for the fall and figuring wedding stuff out... sort of at least. =) I got the design for our invitations done, so now just comes making sure the time works and printing and sending them out. Oooh! And I remembered that I get to start buying baby clothes again for my Nameless-Nephew. Sarah and I got really excited. Mayyybe he'll be born on my birthday... =)

Spring break will be full of relaxing, dr. appointments, finding a wedding dress (oh dear...), and a bridal shower and bachelorette party for a friend whose wedding is next month! I'm still not a dress shopper, especially because I really don't like people staring and giving me complements. Guess I need to get over that. Or something.

I'm still fighting off a cold/allergies or whatever this is. Michael seemed to catch it though. I've come to notice that some guys really don't take being sick well. He's pretty much got the same thing I have but he slept almost all day yesterday. lol. I'm not one for naps though, I think that's part of it. But my little sister was talking about how her Mike doesn't take being sick well either. Men. ;)

Okay. Time for me to go relax. I'm going to play Rock Band and then I'm going to an opera tonight with my roommate. Excited.

much love,
alex